Random Thoughts As I Read Through “Does Jesus Really Love Me?”

11 Apr

I am reading through Jeff Chu’s book for a second time.  First time was a quick read, now reading it slower. In many ways, it is challenging me.  Making me think. Wishing that I had more people to discuss it with.  Here are a few random thoughts… I am sure more to come later.

One of the things I really appreciate about Jeff’s approach is that he doesn’t “clean up” people’s stories… he allows the tensions to hang, questions to be unanswered and complexities to simmer.  There is no easy answer, sermonic “big idea” conclusion or neat moralism at the end.

Real life is way too complicated for that… and this book is about real life.

And while it is was a bit weird to read the chapter about me, the truth his that I saw myself in other people’s stories on almost every page — and often better articulated than I could ever have said.

For me, I am hearing two great tragedies in these pages: (1) there is the tragedy of how LGBT folks have been marginalized, abused, excluded and deeply wounded by the church and other Christians; and (2) how much the church (universal) is being hurt and wounded by the division being created by this issue.  In many respects, not only the church shooting its wounded, but shooting itself in the foot at the same time.

I have two great passions after my deep and abiding love of God as revealed in the trinity (okay, if you count food and cooking, three… but that is a whole other story)… first, I am madly in love with His Bride, the church.  I truly believe that the church is the hope of the world and that the cause of the church is worth giving my life for; and second, I am passionate about reaching the lost, lonely, least and last with the good news that God is for them, with them and in them through Christ, the Holy Spirit and the Church.  In other words, my passion is for the church and its mission.

And that is why Jeff’s book is so convicting and also makes me sad.

 As a church universal, we are failing to love the lost, least, lonely and last.  We are building barriers instead of tearing down walls.  We have allowed our own theological systems and to become more important than our God-ordained mission.  We, too often, have allowed an idolatry of tradition and institution to trump a love for people and community.  We, too often, have worshiped the word, instead of the WORD — that is, we worship the created instead of the CREATOR, the spoken instead of THE SPEAKER.  We have become the pharisees in so many ways, and it is destroying God’s mission and wounding His heart.

As a result, not only have many fled the church, even more will never darken its doorways.  Broadly, the church is thought of as irrelevant and meek by those who don’t go — if they even think about the church at all.  And, we have divided the Body of Christ over this issue.  Too many have said that how one interprets a few passages in terms of Christian and sexual ethics, this is the true litmus test of faithfulness.  And each side demonizes the other.  The one accuses they other of being faithless heretics (at best) or false prophets (at worst); and the favor is returned with accusations of hatred and bigotry. And while there are examples of both at the extremes, it is simply not a true picture of most of the people on either side of the issue.

Here is my prediction and conviction…

We are in the middle of a tidal shift in the life of the church.  Homosexuality is but one small symbol of that shift.  In fifty years, if not less, the church will be united on this issue: gays will marry, will raise their families in the church, will serve in all kinds of roles including leadership, will be ordained, and will bring their time-talent-treasure to the church.  And this will happen in both liberal and conservative churches.  In other words, it will be non issue — and the church (universal) will not only survive, but will thrive!  I believe this is particularly true in the North America and Europe, where I believe there will renewal and revival in the coming decades.  I honestly believe that the best days of the church are before her, not behind her.

But there will be more pain along the way.  And it will take brave prophets and leaders and a few too many martyrs to get there.  But she — we — will get there.

And so Jeff’s book — and his conclusions — both make me sad, but also hopeful.  I think more hopeful than Jeff is.  I just wish we could fast forward 30 years… and I pray that I get to see it my life time, and that maybe God would use me in a small way to bring forth His vision for His church and His kingdom and His creation.

If you are reading the book as well, I would love to hear your thoughts… and even if you aren’t, chime in anyway.


Posted by on April 11, 2013 in Uncategorized


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2 responses to “Random Thoughts As I Read Through “Does Jesus Really Love Me?”

  1. Damian Ludwig

    June 7, 2013 at 5:34 pm

    I just finished this book. It took me a while because it wasn’t a quick lite read. I was very emotional (painful, hopeful, frustrated, angry, despair) through almost every chapter. Some of the stories completely baffled me, and others I felt like I was joining in with their pain.

    Honestly, one of the biggest take-always from this was how badly the Church has and is dealing with this issue. Having only been apart of the fold since i moved to Southern California a decade ago, and belonging to a relatively supportive community, I guess I’ve been a bit naive about what was going on with the rest of the body. I listened to friends share some painful stories over the years, but I guess i thought they were kinda isolated testimonies… not the norm.

    I haven’t really understood why people in my own faith community choose to stay in the closet or attempt reparative therapy. But Jeff’s book opened my eyes a bit as to what others who come out are faced with. It’s heartbreaking and unjust!

    Additional to my emotion from the anti-gay and non-affirming stories, I also felt quite frustrated reading through the chapter about the MCC church. It’s almost like a drastic reaction the evangelical church that completely missed the point of the radial redemption Jesus came to establish through His Kingdom here in our communities. I did appreciate Jeff’s reflection at the end.

    A good thing that came out of both this book and Justin Lee’s Torn is to inspire me to not shy away from talking to my Christian brothers and sisters about my sexuality. I’m quite timid about that and fear causing dissension, but what I’m realizing is that being open is not just for my own integrity and authenticity, but for the good of the universal church. When more of us start making our own stories known and heard, change will progress!

    On a personal note. Ben your bravery in sharing even some of the the lowest point of your story so openly is refreshing and inspiring! It makes me – and i’m sure countless of others – feel that much closer to you! Your hunger for righteousness and desire to be a man of character, not just for the sake of appearance, makes you a admirable leader and man of God!


    • Ben Dubow

      June 8, 2013 at 12:35 am

      Thanks Damian. I really appreciate it!



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