What the Church Can Add to Gay Relationships

20 Jul

I recently came across this article in the San Francisco Chronicle about what are being termed “San Francisco Relationships”  – that is, committed gay relationships (or even marriages) that are “open” and intentionally “non-monogamous”.  (You can read the whole article here).

First, it should be noted, this is not unique to gay relationships. Straight couple have been engaged in these kinds of things for years. That said, I do think it is more prevalent in the gay community.

One of the sad realities is that since the church (broadly) was abandoned and condemned the gay community, there are few people who are willing to help LGBT individuals and couples really work through how to have healthy and long-term relationships, marriages and families.

There is a reason that mentoring, pre-marital counseling, pastoral care, accountability, etc, are all helpful to heterosexual relationships. The church (through teaching, counseling, modeling, mentoring, small groups and friendships) help individuals and couples develop healthy relationships.  What are healthy boundaries? What does commitment look like?  What re some pitfalls to avoid? How do you work on communication? How do you make Jesus central in your relationship? etc etc etc…

My hope and dream is that churches would become resources to help Christian and seeking LGBT individuals and couples work through these issues in the context of a Christ-centered community.  This includes helping folks date, in relationships, in marriage and in family life.  

With straight couples, churches understand this as part of their mission and a core part of discipleship.  The same needs to happen for gay folks.

Will the church ever get there?

I don’t know.

Some have. Some will. And some will never get past the abandon-and-condemn theology.

What do you think?


1 Comment

Posted by on July 20, 2010 in Uncategorized


One response to “What the Church Can Add to Gay Relationships

  1. John

    July 20, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    <p>"I’m just reading what is written… it can’t be any more plain than that. If a brother refuses to repent of a publicly known sin, as Jesus said :<br>"Matt 18:17 "If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. (this was obviously a negative statement)</p><p>I’m not trying to be exclusionary here, but "It is written…" "</p><p>Yes Bruce, we don’t blame you, thanks for reminding us it’s God who’s the prick.</p>



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: