Tonight at my men’s small group, one of the guys shared this. They got it from one of the women’s small groups that the church sponsors as well. Since most of the guys in the group are married, this really struck home. When I was pastoring, I was all too aware how how serious an issue porn was for many of the guys in the church — both single and married.
I am experiencing the heartbreaking reality of learning that my husband is satisfying himself in a mental and physical affair with fantasy… substituting pictures for the warmth of my body and love.
I struggle so hard competing with an illusion to which I can’t possibly compare, with an availability I can’t duplicate, doing things I can’t imagine. My helpless heart is being left out of his love life. The presence of the “other” woman has taken residence in his heart. I want my dwelling place alone to be there.
God, I so want to be the object of his desire. My heart longs to see the hunger in his smile for my lips, that twinkle in his eye anticipating my touch. I cry out to feel sexy simply because he delights in me!
Oh Lord, cause my husband to see what you made me to be for him… a precious jewel… without blemish, holding all my desire and all myself for him. Kindle his desire for your very best!!!
It’s me, Lord.