This might not matter to other people, but it has been an important issue for me to work through myself. When your world blows up, sometimes it can take some time to sort through the mess and figure out what really happened — was the real problem was, what the collateral damage is, etc.
I know a lot of people won’t agree with me, and I am OK with that… but I am beginning to have some clarity from God about all of this and that is good.
What was my sin?
Well, being gay was not my sin.
Inappropriate sexual activity was.
Lying and keeping secrets and hiding my struggles… those were sins too.
This might not seem like a very big deal to others, but sorting through those issues… that was 17 years in the making. I suspect if I had dealt with those issues better 17 years ago, a lot of this crap in my life could have been avoided.
But I am trying not to despair over the last 17 years, and instead focus on what God wants to do in and through me over the next 17 (and hopefully more) years.